When Lent comes around, I do two things. First and foremost, I make clear I'm staying on social media to be a contrarian. Second, I don't mention what I'm "giving up" for Lent. I avoid this not out of vainglory (not wanting to blow the trumpet), but because I think Catholicism has become obsessed with what we give up for Lent, to the point that isn't healthy.
Yes, I give up something for Lent. Yes, I've cosplayed as an Eastern Christian before with my Lenten discipline. Yet what is Lent a season of? It is a penitential season, yes. But it is also a season of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. Fasting without the other two is just a diet, and I had a pretty successful diet a few years ago.
There is a real risk, especially online, of turning Lent into a "how hardcore of a Catholic are you" gimmick, where we take turns one-upping each other on discipline. These kinds of disciplines are great, provided they serve a proper end.
What end should they serve? Nothing less than preparing the body and soul to partake in the Resurrection. This is why traditionally Ash Wednesday focuses on the reality and inevitability of death. (The modern liturgy, in one of its many inexplicable changes, downplays this understanding significantly.) Only by accepting this reality can one enter into the Resurrection, which is the victory over death. Prayer focuses the soul towards God, fasting trains the will towards God, and almsgiving is the culmination of the former two: to live at the service of others.
We don't talk about almsgiving as much anymore. Sometimes we rationalize this by saying "I already tithe every Sunday at Church", but that's not necessarily what we are talking about here. Maybe this Lent you can help keep a food bank stocked. People really need food during this pandemic. Many grocery stores have gift cards you can purchase where the goods go to the local food bank, if you cannot drop the food off yourself. Maybe you see someone hungry and pick him up some goods.
Sometimes it doesn't even need to be money. Do you have a family member struggling with sickness? Call them more often. Someone dealing with depression? Try to help them realize they matter, and always be available for them. Make a conscious decision to spend more time with your spouse and children, or other members of your family. Then make a decision to spend that time profitably.
Most importantly, make sure your Lent is done in accordance with your station in life. I suppose you could do a bread and water fast after your wife gives birth to a child for 40 days, but I'm pretty sure you won't be of much use to them. You could spend hours a day reflecting on one of the spiritual classics, but what good is that if those hours interfere with your job or your obligations as a parent? One of those great spiritual classics used to make that point often. In The Spiritual Combat (one of the great classics of Western Spirituality), Lorenzo Scupoli said the following:
For whoever has the courage to conquer his passions, to subdue his appetites, and repulse even the least motions of his own will, performs an action more meritorious in the sight of God than if, without this, he should tear his flesh with the sharpest disciplines, fast with greater austerity than the ancient Fathers of the Desert, or convert multitudes of sinners.
It is true, considering things in themselves, that the conversion of a soul is, without doubt, infinitely more acceptable to the divine Majesty than the mortification of a disorderly affection. Yet every person, in his own particular sphere, should begin with what is immediately required of him.
Large penances and heroic displays of discipline are great. Yet sometimes we are called to master smaller things, and this is infinitely better. During these 40 days of Lent, don't ask "what should I give up?" Ask "what is immediately required of me?" Do that. What's blocking you from doing it? Work on that. You will often find that you can give something up to help you achieve that goal. You can also find it might be something pretty small. Do it quietly, do it joyfully, and you'll find this lent profitable.
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